Love My Kindle!

My parent's gave me an Amazon Kindle for Christmas this past year. I love it!! It's convenient, easy to use, and causes no eye strain. I'm in front of a computer all day long and was concerned it would hurt my eyes. And for some reason it causes me to read more books. Or maybe I'm just bored and living vicariously through the characters in the book because my life blows right now.

Same shit still applies - living with the ex, can't find a new place, making no money at ALL at work (and other shit!). I hope I don't have to look for something else. Ugh. Why did all the shit have to happen all at once? My grandmother use to say "I know God doesn't give me more than I can't handle . . . just wish he didn't trust me so much". My Memere's line explains it all. I miss you Memere!

Nothing New

It's Wednesday already - Woo Hoo! Hump day! Nothing new on my front. Survived Valentine's day/Single Awareness Day without an issue. Pretty happy about that. I just reminded myself how much money I'd save and how I wouldn't have to deal with an ungrateful puss later on in the night. Double win for me!

I feel stuck in this rut of course and just want to move on and OUT! But can't because finding a new place to live in Boston is dam near impossible. Several factors complicate this - 1.) Have a dog. Not everyone wants to live with one or will rent to an owner of one, 2.) I'm car-less at the moment which means I need to live near the red or orange lines to get to work, 3.) Budget - need to sell a kidney to afford rent, 4.) Finding normal roommates.

I know I'll feel better once I move out. That way I don't need to see the ex every day and can finally get some sort of closure to this mess. I'm afraid it probably won't be until April or May at this point when students begin leaving Boston and apartments open up.

*sigh* can't wait for 2011 to be over because this year fucking sucks!

Beat Me Over The Head

Ugh! I've been beat over the head with this anger, depression, and complete hopelessness about the future. It feels like the whole world is conspiring against me right now, beyond the end of my relationship.

Did my taxes today - owe about $1,800. Not fucking sure how. I worked for a non-profit last year, aka the working poor. Oh wait, only the rich win. Thanks for fucking me in the ass without a condom and lube Barack and Deval.

Great, because I'm making no fucking money at my new job. And that money would have been oh so useful as I need it for a new place to live. Cardboard box here we come!

I must have been a serial murderer in my previous life because karma or God just loves fucking sticking it to me in 2011. Good guys always finish last, moral of the story people. Just be an asshole to everyone you know. You'll do fine. Just ask TJ.

Michael is my middle name . . .think it's actually misery, thanks Mom & dad.

I mean I have to say, I won't make the same mistake twice. Soo, I won't date anyone close to TJ . . . or maybe at all. Keep the drama and pain an arms length away seems to work best. After all, I'd have more luck becoming pope than finding a meaningful and loving relationship.

Wow, I'm miserable. Do yourself a favor people and read a new blog.

Continued Reflection

The past three or so weeks have been very difficult for me. I finally said to myself on the walk home today, "dude, a LOT has been going on since November. Give yourself time to adjust and move on with life, your new job and new single status."

I think this week has been the absolute worse for some reason. Not sure why. Poor sleep patterns probably don't help.

Even though I'm sad about the break up and the chaos of my life at the moment, I need to remember that I will find love again and it will be so much better than before. I look forward to meeting that next guy and getting that giddy feeling of anticipation when I see him or the longing to see him again.

Ok, just had to put that out there. Think of my blog as therapy for the time being. Therapy with eye candy attached.