Went out Friday night and well, I kinda wish I didn't. I had a good time for a while, but that changed real fast.
I got into a wicked pissy mood on the inside....completely pulled one of my personal smack down sessions on myself. I hate when this happens because I've been in a pretty awful mood since then. I said the same old shit I normally say to myself and believe it which then makes it so much harder later to feel any self worth. Blah
I wish I wasn't so good at being so mean to myself. My friend Maxi once said to me "dam, I'd probably kill myself if I went through life saying the shit you do to yourself". Yes, I'm quite nasty to myself.
I need to get rid of this nasty funk I'm in because it is soo not helping right now. My average sleep time since New Years has been 2:30am . . . I've been having difficulty sleeping, read the post called "The Love Affair is Over". I've learned over the years that lack of sleep creates a breeding ground for me to stir up bull shit in my head.
I'm going to hit up the gym tomorrow night and see if that helps...it usually does.