I put myself out there and well . . . it just didn't happen. Needless to say, I'm very disappointed, upset, and well . . .BITTER! lol
Bitter, party of one . . . yeah, that's me right now. I've made an agreement with Foxy that I am allowed one day of bitterness and one bitter blog entry . . . so today's the day and this is the blog entry. It should be fun, get psyched!
To make a longgg ass story short, we'll just put it this way, I told this guy that I had been talking to that I liked him, missed hanging out with him etc. Kind of a big deal for me considering the fact that I'm not very open with my feelings/emotions when it comes to talking to guys etc. I'm an open book with just about everything else. Such a hang up. Well, he told me he wasn't looking for anything except for friends. Interesting, I know considering he certainly made me think other wise. First bit of rejection I've had in a long time (remember, I don't date/put myself out there much - I'll explain in a bit). It's a pretty shitty feeling.
I think the two parts that upset me the most is that I didn't listen to myself. I'm a very intuitive person, and that part of me was like "jump ship hoe, you're wasting your time!" I bothers me that I didn't listen to myself . . . I'm usually right 98% of the time! I won't make that mistake again . . .
I dunno what it is about Boston gay men . . . and I know I'm generalizing here, but are any of them available? I mean truly available - know what they want, stable, OUT, etc.? Because I certainly can't find them.
I'm really starting to get to the point where I think its time for me to move on from Boston. Not just because of this, their certainly are other reasons, but the gays here fuckin suck! (please remember, I'm bitter right now, lol, I hope I don't feel this way next week!)
So after a long convo with my friend Mitch the other night, I've decided I'm going to begin investigating other city options.
New York City - could never live there. This I know
Washington D.C. - I could live there, definitely . . .love that city
Chicago - LOVE Chicago.
I think Chi-town is the next move.
This certainly won't be easy considering that my family would definitely not be supportive of a move to the mid-west. Even my brother, who has been my biggest supporter in everything I do would be against it. And yes, it is my life, but my family is important to me and I do value them and their opinions. So yeah, that would be a battle . . . oh well right?