Thursday, June 28, 2007

She Says: You're Suppose to Feel Disappointed!

I don't normally delve deep into my personal life on this blog...well, not my inner thoughts and feelings. Alcohol does do that though, see my post from last Thursday. I however am sober while writing this . . . so it is difficult to share these thoughts with the world! Usually they're saved for My bro, Mitch, SAM, Maxi, and Foxy. Feel special mmkay?

So I met a guy about 2 weeks into May...I kinda blogged about it before. It was one of those fun chance meetings...really cool though. We started hanging out a lot over the past few weeks. He's good looking, fun, great personality etc. Apparently knew who I was before I knew him. Kinda hot no? Went on a few dates, out with friends etc. So the impending "doom" that we both knew about was that he was leaving Boston in mid-June for a job in New York. He'd be back in Boston either every weekend or every other. We still went ahead with seeing what would happen etc.

Well, we finally had the conversation of "whats going on with us/what will happen etc.?" Never something anyone really wants to talk about. It was quick, lasting like 2 minutes. Basically, nothing could really happen between us because he'd be 3.5 hours away and that it would be best if we were just friends. Don't you love the "just friends" thing? Sarcasm here, surely.

I mean I agreed....its true....its VERY difficult to try something with anyone when it starts off long distance. But none the less, I'm disappointed. There, I fucking said it!

The point of this posting is that, I'm terrible about allowing myself to feel certain emotions. I can be wicked angry at someone (and I'm totally not angry with this situation, which is a good thing!). That is apparently ok. But being sad about something or disappointed seems to be off limits. Taboo. It's "dust yourself off and try again" or "move on" (suddenly "Move On" from Dreamgirls pops into my head!) or worse, I just stay in a nasty ass funk and be miserable.

So apparently its a good thing for me to accept and allow my emotions to come forward blah blah blah. So i'll say it. It does make me sad and disappointed that nothing came to fruition. I was definitely have a good time and I certainly enjoyed the attention. Well and not to mention he was a fabulous cuddler too!

1 comment:

Rob said...

I've never really thought about it, but you're right; no one ever really lets themselves feel disappointed. we have to distract ourselves. Instead we should feel what we're going through and try to make sense of it.

and as for this mystery boy... who knows what the future holds.

keep it cute, or put it on mute, betch.